What are you afraid of?
For me, it's heights, drowning, spiders, and sharks. I know people that are afraid of small spaces, snakes, clowns, even afraid of sleeping! (yes, somnophobia is a real thing!!!) There are hundreds of phobias that millions of people have, all over the world. But I want to focus on one particular phobia, one that billions of people have, and one that most people won't admit to.
The fear of failure...
Recently, I asked a bunch of people on Facebook to share with me some of the things they fear. I truly appreciate all of the answers given, it was great insight! The most consistent answer received was fear of failing, or not being good enough. I figured it would be the top answer, but seeing it written over and over again just really hit home for me.
I’m just saying, nobody likes to fail. I mean, who wants to go for something or aspire to be something, only to miss the mark? Not me, and I’m fairly certain that if I took a poll, you wouldn’t sign up for that either. Failure is probably one of the most demoralizing, debilitating, destructive forces on earth. Have you ever watched someone fail? They literally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually deflate. All of the encouragement and motivation they received from the various self-help books, motivational speakers, and inspirational movies goes right out the window when the desired end result isn’t realized.
It’s a life-altering disappointment - if you allow it to be...
I have dealt with the fear of failing and not being good enough all my life. I have been singing since I was 7 years old. Although many people encouraged me to do it (and still do to this day), I never thought I was a good enough singer to have a career in the music industry. Every time I went for an audition and didn’t get chosen, I could hear the voice in my head telling me, “See, I knew you wouldn’t make it, you’re just not good enough...” I never thought my writing was good. Every time I have a book idea, I immediately think of 10 reasons why I shouldn’t do it... and I don’t.
See, fear is crippling. When you are afraid, you allow the fear to literally incapacitate you. Fear stops you from moving, stops you from living. Fear is like a hefty dose of neurotoxin, paralyzing you and keeping you from realizing your full potential. Why do we allow this? What is so powerful about fear that it keeps us from moving forward in life? If we allow it, our fear can destroy us. We can become so stifled by what we’re afraid of that we never try, never act, never produce. A lemon tree that doesn’t produce any lemons is a dead tree. An individual that is gifted to be a writer but never writes is... see where I’m going with this? But it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can overcome fear...
Yes, you can! I remember at the climax of my fear. Like many others, my highest point of fear was highlighted by severe depression and suicide attempts. I remember thinking that I was worthless and dispensable. I couldn’t see why anyone would need me or want me. To me, my life was not necessary. Maybe you have had a moment or moments where you felt like that to one degree or another. Maybe you feel like that now. I’m here to tell you that it’s not the truth of your life. You matter. You are good enough. You are needed. You are necessary.
Will you fail? Yes, absolutely! There’s not a single person that goes through life without failing, multiple times! We have to change our focus; it’s not important how many times you fail, but rather what you do after you fail! Your failures in life are gateways, with one door leading to a defeatist lifestyle and the other door leading to fulfillment. When you fail, if you allow that fear to become a destiny-altering shackle, then you will carry the fear of failure around with you like an accessory and find yourself never living the life you were supposed to live because of the fear that you carry around.
BUT, if you learn to see failure as a teacher and fear as a dead end, then you can take the valuable lessons from your failures and use them to propel you into fulfilling your dreams and destiny. Talk to any successful person, and they will tell you that they failed numerous times before they finally succeeded at something! I read that Daymond John (Shark Tank, FUBU) worked as a pizza delivery boy for years and that he couldn’t even sell one FUBU wool cap when he first started out. He failed in college and with other jobs. But because he learned lessons from his failures and never gave up on his dreams, he was able to graduate from failure into fulfillment. He is a very successful businessman, having a company that has made over 6 billion dollars, and now he invests in others that recognize that their failures are not final, but a necessary step to success.
Failure is fire. You have to decide whether you allow the fire to burn you, or ignite you. Failure is inevitable, what happens after failure is a choice. I encourage you to take the scary step of overcoming your failure, and you do that following a simple, two-word principle: keep going. If you don’t stop, you will overcome. Now there are those who will say, “Well, what about my fear? How do I stop being afraid?” My answer is simple: You may never stop being afraid. But do it afraid!!! Face the fear, stare it down, and then jump right off of that cliff, fear and all! You will never know if the parachutenof your life will open if you never jump.
What are you afraid of - you just might succeed...
I’m just sayin’...
TRT
